Akatsuki Game Night
by Bri Nara
Summary: Second Tuesday of every month is Akatsuki's game night. What madness will happen!


**Bri Nara Production**

_I would like to thank __ErinRock122 and MLIA-anime for giving some ideas for this fic. Inspiration: A meme on deviantart, one panel was "Draw your favorite characters playing a game" and it was Akatsuki playing strip-poker (Tobi was winning and everyone was complaining that his mask made it unfair). I don't own the Akatsuki, Monopoly, Hide-n-seek, the songs, or the game truth or dare (but I use it so often that I should). I own myself, the randomness, and this super long author's note. And I partially own Shairo, and Aniki.  
_

Everyone looked at the calendar. Several people grinned ear to ear, while others groaned. It was the second Tuesday of the month which meant it was game night. Game night was a tradition established by Bri when she was still in Akatsuki, and she still visited whenever there was one.

The doorbell rang, and Tobi went to get it 'cause Tobi's a good boy. It was Bri and her guest Aniki (MLIA-anime, say thanks! ^^). Bri was holding up her monopoly while Aniki was holding a camera.

"Hi guys!" Bri said as she place the box on the table. "So what do we do first?"

"Hide and seek!" Tobi cheered.

_**"Monopoly. NOW." **_Kakuzu growled.

"But that game takes forever, un!" Deidara whined.

"You heard the man." Aniki said as she opened up the monopoly box.

Five minutes later...

Kakuzu was epically winning. He owned half the board, with most of his properties as hotels, and already half the Akatsuki went bankrupt. The only people left playing was Kakuzu (teh dictator of monopoly), Tobi, Bri, Aniki, and Deidara.

"JUST SELL ME ILLINOIS, TOBI, UN! EVERYONE LANDS THERE!" Deidara yelled at the good boy who only owned that one spot.

"No, Sempai! Not until Aniki-chan gives me her pretty blue spot." Tobi begged Aniki with the cutest puppy eyes he could do with his mask on.

"NEVER! NOT UNTIL BRI GIVES ME BOARDWALK!" Aniki shouted, pointing at Bri who was holding only 500 dollars.

"WELL, TOUGH! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TAKING THE RACECAR!" Bri snapped as she continued to worship the very little money she had left.

"DEIDARA, JUST ROLL THE FRIGGIN' DICE ALREADY!" Kakuzu ordered.

Deidara got doubles, and landed on Free Parking, which gave him 1000 dollars. "YES!" Then he rolled the dice again, and landed on one of Kakuzu's green spaces. "CRAP!"

"Pay up." Deidara slapped some money into the miser's hand. "Ahem." Deidara slapped several more fake-dollars into Kakuzu's awaiting hand. "_Ahem_." Deidara slapped his last dollar into Kakuzu's hand. "_And _the properties." Deidara almost cried as he handed over Indiana and Kentucky Avenue. "That's better."

Deidara went to the emo corner along with the rest of the Akatsuki and sat next to Sasori. By far, the most ashamed was Hidan, who never even landed in Kakuzu's properties, but went bankrupt **_first_** because he kept landed on Chance and Go to Jail. And then he landed in Aniki's most expense space.

"Can't we just surrender?" Bri complained as she rolled the dice.

"No. Not until I own EVERYTHING."

"You're only missing the blue spaces and Illinois! As the real-estate agent, I should know." The dice rolled 11. And Bri landed on one of Kakuzu's spaces. "NO! PLEASE! I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO BE BROKE AND BEG ANIKI AND TOBI TO GIVE ME THEIR LAST DOLLARS!"

"That's the bad luck you get for picking the thimble." Then Bri went to the emo corner.

The game ended when Aniki flipped the board when she landed on Tobi's space.

"You only had to pay 14 dollars." Kakuzu said.

"I know." she responded.

"What are we doing next?" Kisame asked. (Scene written by MLIA-anime)

Deidara thought for a while. "Poker." He said with a smirk.

Aniki raised an eyebrow. "What kind of poker?" Bri asked suspiciously.

"Strip poker." Deidara answered.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" Aniki shouted waving her wands furiously.

"Why don't you want to play?" Itachi asked.

"..."

"I know why," Hidan said standing up. "It's because she's flaaaaaaaaattttt." Hidan said grinning. Snickers could be heard around the room.

"T-that's not why." Aniki said fuming at Hidan.

Everyone sighed. "Anyway, where were we?" Bri asked pushing Hidan back from Aniki before someone died. (End her scene) "Oh yeah, Strip Poker. _Why _do you want to do that, Deidara?"

Deidara's eye darted to Tobi's direction, who was playing with the monopoly racecar. And if Tobi were to lose at strip poker...

"OH... Well, I'm not playing." She held up a camera. "Youtube's been complaining that there hasn't been enough Akatsuki fan-service... BUT ONLY DOWN TO YOUR UNDERWEAR! I DON'T WANNA SEE MINI-JASHIN, KUZU JUNIOR, OR SEE IF SASORI'S REALLY A KEN DOLL!" Several eyes twitched in annoyance. Aniki let out a quiet "fine..."

Konan crossed her arms. "I'm not playing either. Not since the incident at the convention with the chicken-"

"Ok, Konan's not playing."

Deidara handed Kisame the deck. "Kisame, cut the deck." And Kisame shuffled the cards with skillz you can only ever see in Vegas. "Card-shark..."

"I HEARD THAT!" Kisame yelled as he handed out 5 cards each. Itachi, Pein, and Kakuzu stared at their cards with the best poker faces ever. The color drained from Deidara's face. Sasori's eye twitched. And Kisame lost his grin.

"I fold." said white Zetsu.

**"No, we raise." **the black Zetsu said.

"Fold."

**"Raise!"**

"FOLD!"

**"RAISE!"**

"JUST PLAY ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS AND GET IT OVER WITH!" Bri shouted. "I WANNA SEE SOMEONE TAKE THEIR CLOAK OFF ALREADY!"

Then Zetsu played rock paper scissors with himself. "Gun is cheating!"

"SCREW IT! YOU RAISE!"

"I'll raise." Kakuzu said.

"Raise." Hidan said.

"Fold." Kisame said.

"Fold." Pein said.

"I'll raise, un." Deidara said.

"Raise." Itachi said.

"Tobi will do what Sempai did!"

"I'll fold." Sasori said.

Hidan put his cards down, two pairs. Deidara had one pair. Itachi had a full house. Zetsu was bluffing on a junk hand. Kakuzu smirked under his mask as he spread out a straight flush.

"Read it and weep, boys." Bri said "Oh, what did you get, Tobi-kun?"

Tobi held up his cards saying "Tobi got the King, his wife, and kids! YAY! Happy family!"

Everyone stared at Tobi's cards in pure shock. "How the f___ did he get a royal flush?"

"Who cares? START STRIPPING, BOYS!" Bri said as she held up the camera.

Several cloaks hit the floor. Aniki started nose-bleeding the instant Itachi started unbuttoning his cloak. Bri focused the camera on Deidara, put the camera on slo-mo, and started humming the tune to "I'm bringing sexy back." Hidan and Zetsu didn't have shirts underneath their cloaks, so both were already down to their pants and shoes. Kisame snickered, as Zetsu started blushing when he felt Bri's glance at him.

The game continued like that for a while. (This part was longer but my computer erased it. T_T) Tobi continued winning (not having to take off anything), Akatsuki had to keep taking off accessories while the 4 shirtless brothers (Hidan, Zetsu, Pein, and Sasori) had to keep their playing limited. Bri was grinning by the time the guys who still had their shirts on lost the critical round.

Kakuzu took his shirt off first, making Bri and Aniki scream "MY EYES! THEY'RE BURNING!" Kisame snickered at Kakuzu as he proceeded to remove his shirt. There were three words to describe Kisame; rock... hard... abs.

"Did you know he had those?" Aniki asked Bri as she continued to wonder WTF was going on.

"Nope." Bri answered with a dead-panned look on her face.

Itachi finally had to remove his shirt. (There were lights that came down from the heavens, time went into slow-motion, and the angels were singing *insert sexy song here* and gave birth to the cosmos.) Aniki tried to rush forward to glomp Itachi, but was held back by Kisame and Bri, who knew SO many people were gonna watch this on youtube.

"And now you all know why Itachi has fangirls." Kisame said calmly.

"Deidara-chan~!" Hidan said with a grin. "Your turn."

The shirt came off. Or... got ripped off by Sasori (who wanted to torture Dei-chan). Deidara glared at his partner with the intent to kill him, until he remembered Bri was there.

"NOO! BRI! You're getting blood all over the camera!" Aniki cried as Bri spontaneously started nose bleeding.

"SORRY!" Bri said as she got the magic tissue box out.

"Well, let's get this over with." Deidara said as he picked up his cards.

"Hey, people." Everyone turned around to see a miniature version of Hidan, only with gold eyes and a black and white scythe. "What?"

"Shairo-baka, what are you doing here?" Hidan asked calmly as he looked at his cards. (Shairo, another OC for a friend of mine. He requested to be here.)

"What's it look like?" Shairo said as he got himself some cards. "I'm playing strip poker."

Everyone sweatdropped as they thought _He has no idea what he's getting into. _Everyone folded except for Tobi and Shairo. Shairo got royal flush, while Tobi got royal-straight flush.

"Is he cheating?"

"We don't know." the shirtless Akatsuki responded.

"Tobi doesn't cheat! Tobi's a good boy!" the good boy said defensively.

Shairo had to take off his Jashinist cloak.

"Uh..." everyone said as they stared at the t-shirt.

I got kidnapped by a fangirl on Valentine's Day

Disappeared off the face of the earth for 3 months

And all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

"WTF?" Bri said. (Read "Valentine Hideout" if you don't get the joke.)

"Don't. Ask." Shairo said bluntly.

The next round, once again, everyone folded except for Tobi and Shairo. Tobi got royal flush, Shairo got the royal-straight flush.

"Holy s___ on a s___ sandwich!" Hidan said. (Yugioh abridged reference)

"NOW TAKE OFF THE MASK!" Shairo said in victory.

Tobi shrugged and said "Ok." He was about to take it off... when the lights went out.

"SON OF A MOTHER F____ING S____Y B____!" Hidan screamed to the heavens as yet another plan to get Tobi's mask off failed.

"HIDAN! WATCH YOUR F___ING LANGUAGE!" Shairo scolded.

There was a lot of rustling heard. Aniki fumbled around until she found Itachi, sadly, fully-clothed.

"Well, looks like the power's out." Bri stated.

"Now what?" Kisame asked.

"Hide and go seek in the dark!" Tobi cheered.

"Fine." everyone said.

"Who's it?" Aniki asked.

"I volunteer... KAKUZU TO BE IT!"

"Wait! What?" Then everyone ran away (and into stuff) before he could object. "Dammit..."

Deidara was walking nervously down the corridor as he tried to find a place to hide. He couldn't see, and he knew someone (Tobi) would try hiding in one of the rooms that had dangerous moving weapons. He bumped into someone who was slightly shorter than him. Then saw a red light and a flash.

"Deidara. Bri is gonna be _so_ mad at you." a voice from the darkness.

"S___, Kakuzu found me. Thanks a lot, brat." said the voice directly in front of Deidara.

Kakuzu turned on a flashlight. It was Sasori that Deidara crashed into. Kakuzu turned the flashlight towards the camera in his hand. It had a picture of Deidara and Sasori crashing into each other, forcing them into a position that looked like they were about to kiss. (Erinrock122 suggested having a yaoi kiss during the hide and seek in the dark, but I can't type that. T_T I don't know how to make yaoi on purpose without feeling guilty.)

"I'll delete it if you pay me 50." Kakuzu said.

Deidara and Sasori both slapped 25 into his hands. Then the said in unison, with the same dead-panned expression "You know how Bri would kill us for 'proving the fanfics are right' when they're not."

"Now, go find everyone else. Those who get caught must catch." Deidara and Sasori wandered off in the dark while Kakuzu went the other way.

_Somewhere in the kitchen..._

"Where will Tobi hide? Where will Tobi hide?" Tobi was running around the kitchen, thinking of a random place to hide. "Tobi knows!" He opened a random cabinet. "Oh! Hi Bri-chan!"

"I called dibs on this spot!" Then Bri shut the cabinet doors.

Tobi was scrambled around the dark kitchen until he found the fridge big enough to hold a party in there. He opened it.

For some reason, Shairo, Hidan, Pein and Konan were all in the refrigerator. Shairo grabbed Tobi and dragged him in hissing "You are not blowing my cover!"

_Back in the hallways..._

Kakuzu was marching down the hallways looking for the Akatsuki. "I can see you, Zetsu." He said as he passed the potted plant that sighed. "I can see you, Kisame." He said as he passed the glow-in-the-dark aquarium. "I can see you two." Kakuzu saw as he passed a random picture of Aniki and Itachi on a beach. (How did that happen? O_o) Kakuzu walked up to the fridge and opened it, ruining a perfect game of in the fridge freeze tag. "Don't look at me like that, Hidan ALWAYS hides in the fridge." Kakuzu looked around. "Where's Bri?"

Suddenly there was a loud BLAM. "OWWIE!" Bri fell out of the cabinet with a loud SMACK. "Mah head..." She said with anime tears.

_About 5 minutes later..._

Somehow Aniki convinced everyone to play _Truth or Dare _after Hide n go seek. Bri grinned, Pein and Konan stayed out of it, and Deidara looked incredibly nervous. They glanced around waiting for someone to stab the silence.

"Kisame, truth or dare?" Bri asked.

"Dare." Kisame said.

"Eat this." Bri said as she threw a random pink fish-smelling thing at Kisame. When he did, she said "It's fish." Kisame started choking on the itty-bitty bite-sized pink thingy. "I'm just kidding! It's shrimp!"

"Oh, that's ok then." Kisame sighed in relief. (Fact: Shrimp is not a fish, it's a crustacean. So me and Kisame can eat it all we want without being accused of cannibalism.)

Everyone sweatdropped and went "Woow..."

"Aniki, truth or dare?" Kisame asked.

"Dare!"

Kisame went over and whispered the dare in her ear. (Warning: Dare is random and thought up at 1 am, so don't think Bri-chan is going crazy.) Then Aniki got up, went in the hallway, came back out wearing neko ears, and randomly started caramelldansen. Everyone's expression was 'WTFH?' Then, when Aniki was finished, she took off the Neko ears and sat down.

"Hidan, Truth or dare?" Aniki asked. (Most of next scene written by MLIA-anime. Except for my dare)

"Truth." Hidan said.

"Okay. Is it true that you're a secret yaoi fan?" Aniki asked with a smirk.

"That s___ isn't true." Hidan said glaring at the random girl that Bri brought to their base. "Bri, truth or dare?" Hidan asked.

"Dare." She answered.

Hidan thought for a moment. "You-"

"Hidan, no killing her." Kakuzu said.

"Fine." the immortal responded.

"Or cursing her with Jashin."

"Fine."

"Or torture with your scythe."

"F___." Then Hidan grinned.

"Or tying her to the ceiling fan by her ankle when there's spear under it."

"You're no fun at all!" Hidan said with a pout. "I dare you to wear the s___y color pink."

"YOU SICK SICK MAN!" She cried out. Then she put a pink barrette in her dark-chocolate brown hair. "Deidara truth or dare?"

"Dare, un." He answered. "Bring it on, yeah."

Bri smirked mischievously. "I dare you...to receive a glomp from Aniki." Aniki grinned at this. "Just a hug, Aniki." Bri warned.

"Fine." She replied.

"What? I didn't agree to th-" Deidara was knocked to the ground by Aniki. "Itachi...truth...or dare." Deidara choked out. (End teh guest star writing)

"Dare." Itachi said with no tone whatsoever.

Deidara grinned, since he's always wanted to dare Itachi. "Dance, un. Break-dance."

Bri, Aniki, and Shairo started laughing their heads off. Several others smirked. Itachi just shrugged and got on the conveniently placed stage.

(Another fic where Akatsuki do karaoke, done because of several request after Deidara's birthday fic)

_Can't touch this._

Itachi's cloak came off and Aniki screamed about as loudly as a football stadium on the day of the Superbowl.

_Can't touch this._

_Can't touch this._

_Can't touch this._

_My, my, my, my music hits me so hard _  
_Makes me say oh my Lord _  
_Thank you for blessing me _  
_With a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet _  
_Feels good when you know you're down _  
_A superdope homeboy from the Oaktown _  
_And I'm known _  
_as such _  
_And this is a beat uh you can't touch_

Then Itachi started break-dancing. The Akatsuki stared in amazement as the fangirls (and Tobi) went wild. Itachi was spinning around on the floored, and stopped in an unintentional dead-sexy pose.

"ITACHIIIIII~!" Aniki fangirl-screamed as she dragged him off the stage.

"Screw the Truth or Dare! Y'all are dancing!" Bri said as she took Sasori.

"You can't do that! It's against the rules!" Kisame said.

Bri held up a fistful of pixie sticks and said "Screw the rules, I have sugar!" (Another Yugioh abridged reference). Then she pushed Sasori onto the stage. The sound of trumpets everywhere instantly told Sasori what song he would be doing.

"OH HELL NO AM I DANCING TO THAT!" Sasori snapped. He tried to run away, but instantly got stopped by a black shadow at his feet.

**"You will dance to it whether you want to or not, 'Sori-nii." **Bri said in a scary voice. **"And you will dance for _real._"**

Sasori sighed. "I guess I don't have much of a choice." He got up stage as the trumpets started again.

_I got no strings_

_To hold me down._

_To make me fret_

_Or make me frown._

_I had strings_

_But now I'm free._

_I got no strings on me!_

The entire Akatsuki burst out laughing at Sasori's 'performance.' The whole time, he maintained a wide and bright fake smile_. _While kicking and jumping around the stage. By far, Deidara laughed the hardest.

Sasori walked off the stage with an absolutely pissed off look on his face. _**"Don't. Say. Anything!"**_ Everyone who wanted to keep their tongues stayed silent.

"Ok? Who's next?"

Then Hidan moon walked onto the stage wearing a white tuxedo as the music started playing.

"NO MICHEAL JACKSON!" Bri rawred as she pointed at Hidan.

"Why the f___ not?" Hidan rawred backed in chibi form.

Deidara mumbled into everyone's ear. "She went to a hotel where they have a different themed show every night for her 14th birthday, the night of her birthday was MJ night. And it was right after he died, so nobody really gave a crap about her birthday." (True story, but don't hate MJ. It's just my brother made me listen to every MJ song everyday for 3 months after I came back from that hotel trip. Didn't help that a 4 year old was forcing me to dance to them.)

"FINE, B___! FINE!" Hidan yelled as he went backstage again. Then he walked back out in his normal clothes saying "I know a better song anyways!"

_All our times have to come._

_Here, but now they're gone._

_Seasons don't fear the reaper._

_Nor the wind, the sun, or the rain._

_We can be like they are_

_Come on, baby, don't fear the reaper._

_Baby take my hand, don't fear the reaper._

_We'll be able to fly, don't fear the reaper._

_Baby I'm your man._

Bri raised an eyebrow thinking, _I expected a rock song! I didn't know 'Don't fear the reaper' sounded so pretty!_

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Of course..."

"That song's always his backup plan, un."

"So? Who's next now?"

Everyone looked at Pein and Konan's direction. Both of them shifted uncomfortably as everyone grinned. "Duet..." everyone said menacingly. Then they threw them onstage.

_hey..uh uh huh_

_what i like about you_

_you hold me tight hmm..._

_tell me I'm the only one wanna come over tonight_

_keep on whispering in my ear tell me all the things that i wanna hear_

_cuz its true that's what i like about you_

_that's what i like about you_

_what i like about you_

_you really know how to dance_

_when you go up_

_down jump around_

_talk about true romance_

_keep on whispering in my ear tell me all the things that i wanna hear_

_cuz its true that's what i like about you_

_that's what i like about you_

_that's what i like about you_

_that's what i like about you_

"Perfect." Aniki said.

"Totally perfect..." Zetsu commented.

"It's about freakin' time they sang together." Bri said.

Shairo walked onto the stage and walked onto the stage. He cleared his throat and randomly started the song._ (Sorry if I couldn't think of an epic song for you, Danna.)_

_Do you like waffles?_

_(Yeah we like waffles!)_

_Do you like pancakes?_

_(Yeah we like pancakes!)_

_Do you like french toast?_

_(Yeah we like french toast!)_

_Do do do do, can't wait to get a mouthful!_

Then he got off.

"Next is Deidara~!" Bri cheered as Deidara got on stage.

_I'm a barbie girl-!_

"No, un." Deidara mumbled as they changed the song.

_Dude looks like a lady-!_

"Oh hell no, un." he said as an angry mark appeared on his head.

_Risin' up, back on the street_

_Did my time, took my chances_

_Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet_

_Just a man and his will to survive_

_So many times, it happens too fast_

_You change your passion for glory_

_Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past_

_ You must fight just to keep them alive_

Suddenly a guitar came out of nowhere and landed in Deidara's hands.

_ It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight_

_Risin' up to the challenge of our rival_

_And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night_

_And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger_

"WOOT! GO SEMPAI!" Bri and Tobi cheered.

"Tobi's turn!" Tobi ran up stage and punch the air with his fist. "HIT IT!"

_Lollipop, Lollipop_

_Oh, lolli lolli lolli lollipop!_

"Not that song, Bri-chan!" Tobi whined.

_'Cause you are my candy girl~!_

"Not that one either!"

_My boy, Lollipop!_

Tobi was crying by now. "You're mean, Bri-chan!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, Tobi."

_Mr. Sun came out and he smiled at me. _

_Said it's gonna be a good one just wait and see!_

_Jumped out of bed and I ran outside feeling so extra exstatified!_

_It's the Best day ever! (Best day ever)_

_It's the Best day ever! (Best day ever)_

Then Zetsu randomly started a conga line that everyone got in on. It danced out the door, until it suddenly stopped and the entire Akatsuki ran back inside leaving Tobi, Bri, Aniki, and Shairo outside.

"You guys forgot Tobi, again!" Tobi said as he repeatedly knocked on the door.

"Looks like game night's over." Aniki said.

Bri waved. "Bye guys! Same time next second Tuesday of the month!"

**Random. Longest chapter I ever typed. God, my fingers are sore... X.X**

**Like to thank MLIA-anime for helping. Like to thank deviantart for the inspiration.**

**Review.  
**


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